Emerys was conceived during a very challenging time for me. I was in the process of preparing to take the most significant exam of my life. If I passed, I would finally have my dream. I would be able to fully be a voice for those who cannot speak for themselves. I would be able to better care for my family. I would be able to help Juju provide Emrys with the best life we could possibly give him. And I was so scared.
My exam date was quickly approaching. Due to promises broken by my previous employer, I had not been able to study. Most people who take this exam study for a minimum of 6 months, and very few pass on the first try. I had only been able to study for about 4 weeks. According to data collected by The BOARD, in 2023, only 56% of the people who took this exam passed on the first try.
On November 6, 2023, I made my way to the testing site. I was so nervous. I began to doubt myself. Once in the building, I was searched and patted down. They assigned a locker for my belongings, and handed me a key. Then, they walked me to the back. I had 4 hours to complete 180 questions.
The first question took my breath away. These people were not playing. They went straight to the point. It took everything in me to stay seated and not panic.
I finished the exam in 3.5 hours, and did not check my answers. I walked to the front. They placed my results face down on the counter. With trembling hands, I picked up the paper, not daring to turn it over. I retrieved my belongings from my assigned locker. I returned the key. I walked right out the door and into the bathroom.
In the bathroom, I turned the paper over. I couldn’t breathe. The tears came immediately. I called Juju to give her the news. I PASSED! And when I walked out of that building, and immediately vomited in the parking lot. Then, I called the woman who is now my boss.
I was now a Behavior Analyst. I was nationally certified, and soon would be lisenced in the state of Texas. I would be able to make sure Emrys had the best possible life we could give him. Everything would be perfect. Or so were my thoughts in that moment.
