It is 2:30 AM on September 30, 2024. I should be sleeping, but the sudden bouts of insomnia never fail. So here I am, having to work in the morning, and sitting here remembering.
By January 2024, I had already decided that we would not be taking at that house past August 31st. Emrys needed a safe place to grow and thrive. I began saving what I could since my expenses had increased with FRIEND still being there and not contributing a single penny towards feeding Juju, or paying for anything at all. His MOTHER would send him money to maintain his bad habits, and that is exactly what he did. Just taking a up space and engage in bad habits. But he would leave soon, even if I had to pay for his ticket myself.
Anyway, by January, the landlady had made it clear that she would not pay for things that were damaged prior to our moving in, and I could fix them for my comfort, but she would not be returning any amount of money, or discounting it from the rent. So I stopped fixing, and started saving. By the time Emrys was born, not only had I bought everything he would need while we were in that house, but I also had enough saved to cover a deposit and about two months worth of rent. I also had enough to take a little vacation with My Heaven, who became Our Host. I had about $5000 saved. And then it happened. And I lost it all.
Emrys had to get more than one autopsy to establish cause. Funeral expenses had to be covered. Any Baby Can, a nonprofit here, was the only agency that would help due to my income. They sent a check for $250 dollars to D.W. Brooks Funeral Home, and donated a tiny urn, urn necklaces, and paid for our grief counseling sessions (we absolutely needed those!). I made sure I paid as much as I could on my car, utilities, rent, student loans, and that was it. And I couldn’t work. I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t eat. I was helpless. I was lost.
My boss took action and immediately set up a gofundme (the goal was never reached)
, and deposited money that I had not even earned into my account to help. People who can barely afford to feed their families sacrificed and either donated money, food, and household necessities. People we don’t even know donated a little. But how about people who we had helped in the past who said they would be there if we ever needed anything? They did nothing. How about FRIEND and his family. FRIEND did nothing, and his family tried to steal OUR DIVINE GIFT (I will share that part later). I paid for pretty much everything, and I was defeated.
And one night, just as I was about to give in to the darkness, My Heaven, Our Host, showed up unannounced. He made me walk out of that house, and into the night towards him. And when he put his arms around me, I broke. And the next day, he took Juju and I with him because he saw just how much being in that house was poisoning us. Truthfully, I don’t think we would be here today had he not intervened.
And those people? Where are they? I don’t know. What I do know is that I am not the same person they once knew.
