Juju’s pregnancy occurred during a time when women’s rights had been compromised. Roe vs Wade was overturned in June of 2022, and living in the south, women are made to carry no matter what. So it was time for Juju to grow up. I told her that I would drive her wherever she needed to go, but she was going to get over the shyness on the phone, and she would be responsible for making her own appointments.
First, she scheduled an appointment at a women’s clinic to confirm the pregnancy. Yes, she was pregnant, and the clinic referred her to an OB/GYN, and assisted her with the paperwork for Medicaid. Referral in hand, Juju called the doctor to set an appointment. This would be the only appointment FRIEND would go to. He never attended the others. While Juju insists that she would tell him to stay in bed, I couldn’t help but think that if I were a man, and I participated in the act of getting a young woman pregnant, nothing could keep me away from seeing my child develop and grow.
So on October 16, 2023, I drove Juju to the first appointment. Juju signed in, and it was agreed that Friend would go in for the ultrasound, and I would go in for the medical exam.
Juju was called back to do the ultrasound. And off she went with friend, while I sat in the waiting area deep in thought. I just knew deep inside that I would be sacrificing a lot to see Juju through this, and no matter the hate I felt for that family, I would do everything within my power to make sure that this baby was safe. Then I remembered the dream, and I fought back the pain that came with the memory.
Juju and FRIEND came out, and Juju handed me the ultrasound pictures. And there he was. Little Emrys, yes, his name had already been selected, right before my eyes. He was about 10 weeks 3 days gestation, and already head in a downward position. I hyperfixated on the pictures, and my breath caught, my heart skipped a beat. I could feel him. I could almost hear him. And just when I thought I was losing my mind, Juju was called back for the medical exam.
The doctor performed the exam and began speaking of the precautions Juju would have to take. Juju had PCOS, but that was not the problem. There were other factors that contributed to Juju having a very high risk pregnancy, and care had to be taken. I vowed that I would take care of my daughter. And for the first time, in my heart and mind, I promised Emrys that I would protect him until my last breath.
